The Husband I Don't Have
As most of you know, Jordan and I have had many life changes happen this year between graduation, Australia, buying a house and preparing for the baby. These changes were not made easily or randomly. Not only have we planned for these moments, but we have prayed for these moments. School has consumed our time for most of our twenties, but we knew the importance of completing it. We weren't going to jump into the house boat until we knew we had jobs in place. We weren't going to jump into the baby boat until we had a few years together and again, jobs in place. We have always wanted to do everything in our power to relieve the stress of hasty decisions.
Jordan has had to do things for me and with me that he has never had to do before. For the first time in my life, I am feeling and seeing my body change. I make jokes all the time referring to myself as "big mama" and saying that there is nothing hotter than the bowling ball of a belly under my shirt. He knows me though. When you are with the right person, they know what you mean when you make these comments. I do not have a husband that is sarcastic or one that joins in with me when I say these things. In fact, he compliments me with a look in his eye, where I know he means every word. He tells me that I have never been as beautiful as what I am now. I look for him to hesitate or look away, but he doesn't.
The house chores are, well, my last priority these days. I will cook, but then not want to clean the kitchen. I might start the laundry, but then make us dig out of the dryer for days. We have had so many projects around the house that truly require time and effort I am not always willing to give. Within the last two months, we have built a desk for my art room, finished making a king sized bed frame and side tables, installed a fan, and put together a crib and changing table. Yard work is not something I have ever done, but I am great at bringing him a cold glass of water to make up for it. I don't have a lazy husband and I don't have one that goes to work and plops on the couch. I have a husband that enjoys doing these projects because he sincerely wants me to feel taken care of.
I don't know if you have watched any shows from "This is Us," but there was one point where where Jack (main character and dad) had his friends try to give him the gift of golf, to allow him a hobby that can get him out of the house. There are plenty of men that put their time into sports, computers, gaming or anything to give them time alone. I know that it is important to let each person have there time alone. I enjoy doing my art alone and he usually enjoys a little time at the gym by himself. As we have been married longer, I truly assumed he would want time alone for his projects, but he has surprised me. He takes each day and tries to find ways for us to do things together. He obviously knows my limitations at this point, but he loves be handing him the screw driver as he installs a fan or talk with him as he tinkers in the garage. I have discovered that he is not a husband that purposefully tries to be away from me.
As any mama knows, pregnancy has some limitations. I don't willingly go up the two flights of stairs in my house anymore. In fact, I plan what I am taking downstairs so that I don't have to climb them again. It is a real bummer when I forget something upstairs, and I am in the basement. Also, it is getting harder to get up. Ha! I am doing the rock-before-you-stand-up move from the couch and the bed. Going places takes twice as long. Walks and bike rides are lasting about 30 minutes before I am out of breath. Naps have been a good friend of mine which also makes it hard to get the chores done. Though I haven't had too many cravings, I can honestly say that Jordan has given up what he has wanted to eat for 7 months, so that I can have what I want for every meal. He has been the one to run up and down the stairs without complaint. He has been the one to stand up from the couch and immediately hold out a hand to help me up. In the moments when I want frozen peaches at 11:00 at night, he has been the one to get in his truck and find a store that was open that late. At times, I have been an emotional crazy person. He has listened and has brought a smile to my face. Now that I am going to the OBGyn appointments every 2 weeks, they are drawing my blood and giving me shots every chance they get. With that fear of needles way before pregnancy, he knew he would need to talk to me through every blood draw and reward me with an apple spice doughnut after it was all over. Guys, he has been to every doctor's appointment. I don't have a selfish husband.
It has taken a lot of support to get to where we are. I would like to think that I have been as much of a support to him as he has been to me, but honestly, this pregnancy has taken so much out of me. Jordan has given so much of himself to make sure that I felt and knew everything would be taken care of. Grass is high? He mows it. Dishes piled? He loads the dishwasher. Laundry getting backed up? He starts the wash. Crib in the box? He puts it together. One thing most husbands might agree with is the fact that housework and yard work are better with a partner in crime.
I have realized it doesn't take a lot to be a listening ear or to be a cheerleader when all of these projects are getting done. Appreciation goes a long way. I have always been taught to never expect anything to be done for you. Don't expect him to open your car door, but tell him thank you every time he does. Don't expect him to get the house clean, but thank him when he does. Don't expect him to compliment you, but thank him when he does. I don't have a husband that has seen this pregnancy as a a chore or a reason to complain about. He has always been and will continue to be far more than what I ever expected or deserved. I don't have a husband that only thinks of what is best for himself, but what is best for me and his soon to be baby girl. Take a moment and comment below of what your spouse "is not."